Too much tv

Having a couple of kids in the house means that I'm subjected to quite a bit of underage programming. We try not to let the kids watch too much tv, but sometimes we need a break (or need to take a shower) and a tv serves as a great babysitter for an hour or so. I was watching Veggie Tales on Saturday and started thinking about what it takes to make a great kids tv show. I decided to rate the different shows that our kids watch. Here they are:

1. The Wiggles: A

This is by far the most watchable out of all of my sons' tv shows. Admittedly, the concept doesn't sound great: four grown men dress up in four different colors and dance and sing. Sometimes they are accompanied by a pirate with a feather as a weapon, a dog, a dinosaur, or an octopus with a shaky voice. Yet, this show works because the guys look like they are having a great time doing what they are doing. Some of them can't dance (Jeff/Purple) or look a little too "Australian" (Murray/Red), but it doesn't matter because they are entertaining. And yes, I do have a favorite song: Big Red Car (toot toot chugga chugga big red ca-ha-ha). I also have a favorite Wiggle: Anthony, the blue Wiggle. I had a chance to take my oldest son to see them not too long ago, but we were out of town. I was actually a little disappointed.

2. The Backyardigans: B

I had my doubts about this show after I heard the different characters' names, including Tyrone, Uniqua, Pablo, and Tasha, but man the songs are catchy. I don't know how many times I've gone to work singing "a pirate, a pirate, a pirate says arrrhhhh." Man, I love that episode. I am also a big fan of "Surf's Up." My son's favorite episode is "Legend of the Volcano Sisters." The show isn't great and sometimes the characters dance just a little too much, but the songs make watching the show worth it.

3. SpongeBob Squarepants: B+

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? My son has been a little late getting into this show mainly because my wife absolutely hates it. I think she still gets a little upset when I turn it on, but I guess she figures that it's inevitable. SpongeBob reminds me of a less-funny version Ren and Stimpy. It has it's moments, but I always think that it could be just a little bit funnier if they put more effort into it. I would just give it a solid B, but the opening sequence where he gets in the tub and his head fills up with water gets me every time.

4. The Doodlebops: F

My kids don't watch this show because my wife and both really, really dislike it. You know those kids in high school who were just a little too into theater? Well, you can catch them now on the Doodlebops. In a Simpsons episode not too long ago Milhouse wanted to know if he could watch the Doodlebops on tv. I guess even the writers for the Simpsons have a strong dislike of three weirdos dressing up in ugly costumes and pretending to play instruments. DEEDEE! ROONEY! MOE! GAY!

5. The Wonder Pets: C-

Here's the story: three animals (a turtle, a duck, and some sort of gerbil) go out and help animals that are in danger. I'm not sure how this idea was pitched to Disney, but it seems like it would be a pretty tough sell. The show is animated, sort of. The characters are all cut outs of real pictures and they just try and animate their arms and mouths. It's kind of creepy, actually, but not as creepy as the little duck named "Ming Ming."

6. Little Einsteins: B-

I think this show is great for kids. It teaches them about classical music, astronomy, artists, etc., but there is something about this show that I can't get with. Maybe it's because they ask too many questions of the audience. Will our clapping really help out Rocket? What about Little Totem Pole? I think the main problem I have with this show is the theme song. If you hear it once in the morning, I promise you that you will be singing it all day.

I've left out some other shows, but it's time to move on to a some random thoughts:

1. When I was younger, I would practice walking around my house without making any noise. I memorized which stairs creaked and where to walk on the wood floor so it wouldn't crack. I also learned that linoleum is soundproof. I'm not sure why I did this, but even today I will try and do it. This little game of my doesn't mesh well with a skittish wife. I've scared my wife so many times walking around the house that now when I know she is there, I have to start sniffing like I have a cold when I'm about to enter a room she is in. Either that or I just announce "I'm about to walk into the kitchen." I told her before that when she is in the house just to expect that I'll walk into the room she is in at any minute, but that never really worked out for her.

2. I loved this commercial when it came out and I still love it:



Everytime I see the guy hit the bed I start cracking up.

3. I watched "Victoria Beckham: Coming to America" and I loved it. More out that another time though.

4. Bobby Flay once said that heirloom tomatoes are the most flavorful, so I decided to plant some along with a bunch of other varieties of tomatoes. After eating a ton of them, I'm inclined to agree. However, heirlooms are an ugly tomato. They look like one tomato is trying to grow out from the inside of another tomato. I wonder if anyone has ever tried to create a tomato that tastes like a heirloom, but has the more pleasant appearance of a golden boy, an early girl, or a beefsteak. Maybe I should drop out of law school and go back to Davis and study agriculture.

5. The Orangesicle shake from Carl's Jr. is surprisingly delicious.