Lip Up Fatty

Don't want to go out on a negative note.

The End.

If any of you out there are still checking this, I have good news for you: Stop. I will officially be saving you the five seconds a week that you have spent navigating to this site.

I've thought a lot about this. Actually, I haven't thought that much about it. I just decided that on the list of things I would like to do with my free time, updating this blog was one step above taking out the garbage (which I hate doing more than anything).

There are also some other things that I have been noticing about blogs that I don't like. I don't really know if I want random people knowing about me or what I am doing. I guess what I'm saying is that if someone I know really wants to know what I am doing or what I think about a particular subject, they can always call or send an email (or send me a message on g-chat, which is my favorite method of communication).

There is also kind of this weird "Keeping up with the Joneses" vibe I get when I read some blogs. I'd explain it more, but I'd rather be doing something else with my time right now. Thanks for reading.

The End.

Ree-diculous

Last night we took the boys trick-or-treating in my parents' neighborhood. I was standing on the sidewalk with the stroller while my wife was at the door with our oldest, when a couple of 10 year olds walked by. One of them said to the other "Oh man, I only got a Twix and Ghiradelli chocolate." I couldn't believe it. Not only is a Twix a respectable candy, but Ghiradelli chocolate is some of the best out there. And this kid was disappointed? This also led to me to ask myself a few questions:

1. Who gives out Ghiradelli chocolate on Halloween?

2. How does a 10 year old even know how to pronounce Ghiradelli?

3. What is wrong with kids today when they are complaining about receiving a Twix AND a Ghiradelli chocolate?

By the way, when you visit a neighborhood filled with teenage trick-or-treaters and your son is three years old, people tend to be a lot happier to see a three year old. So much so that they unload the candy into your kid's pumpkin shaped pail. We had to keep unloading the pail into the bottom of the stroller because people decided to "reward" our kid for being younger than the other trick-or-treaters and for wearing a home-made skunk costume. I can't wait to go home tonight and eat more of his candy.

Funny

So, I just updated about the Red Sox and I just found out they won. Great. It seems like justice is served though because the top story on espn.com wasn't how the Red Sox won, it was that A-Rod was opting out of his contract. Take that, bandwagoning Red Sox fans.

Southern California in flames

It's been a long time since I have written in this blog. It's not like I haven't had the desire to, it's just that other things have gotten in the way. You know, school, family, etc etc. Here are some random thoughts:

1. I finished reading "Thirteen Moons" by Charles Frazier last week and I absolutely loved it. I loved his first book "Cold Mountain" and I loved this one almost as much or more. When I read a book that is set in another time period, I'm always amazed at how much research must go into writing a book like that. I guess that's why it takes years to write some of these books.

2. I don't think it's happened yet, but the Red Sox are about to win the World Series. If there was one team I didn't want to win it, it was the Red Sox. I can sum of my feelings in one picture:



Did you see the Red Sox fans' reaction to J.D. Drew's home run? It was like they had been cheering this guy on all season long when the reality is that they had been killing him all season long. Look, the guy spent like four seasons in Los Angeles, so I know what boring, dull, heartless player he is. I'm just saying, don't act like he's your savior because he hits a meaningless grand slam in a blowout game.

Prior to 2002 or whenever they won the World Series, Red Sox fans had complained about the Yankees always winning and spending an unholy amount on marginal talent. Congratulations, Red Sox, you are the new Yankees. You have the second highest payroll in baseball, people all over the country are wearing your team's hat and shirts because everyone loves a winning team, your "fans" are obnoxious, and the majority of people outside of Boston would appreciate it if you would all just go away. I just can't wait for all the Celtics fans to come out of the woodwork now that they might have a respectable team. Sports fans are just funny that way.

By the way, I didn't used to feel this way about the Red Sox. I really didn't mind them until I read Bill Simmons' book and his 8,000,000th column about the Red Sox. I think that is what ruined it for me. There are still a few great things about Boston, namely the Dropkick Murphys (even though they need to zip it about the Red Sox as well), Big D and the Kids Table, and these flamers:



3. Well, after watching a plethora of new tv shows this fall I have decided that none of them are really worth my weekly attention. I guess the most intriguing out of the lot was "Pushing Daisies." The main guy reminds me a lot of Jimmy Stewart. I also still watch "Back to You" and "Cavemen." That's right, Cavemen. It's so bad, it's almost good.

Well, I had planned on writing more, but I can't think of anything else right now. I promise to think about doing better to try to update this blog more. Primero Dios.

Random Thoughts

The worst show on tv that I have watched an entire season of has got to be "Last Comic Standing." You could pick 10 random people off the street in any major city and I guarantee you that they would be as funny as the 10 "funniest comics in the world" that are on this show. Thankfully we are watching the final episode right now and this will be my last time watching any show hosted by Bill Bellamy.

Speaking of tv shows, my favorite two shows this summer were on the USA network. That's right, USA network. The shows were Psych and Burn Notice. Watching Burn Notice at first was a little difficult because the main character was the "bad guy" in Hitch. I love that movie, but I still can't tell if Eva Mendes is attractive or not. Kind of like Maggie Gyllenhaal or Parker Posey. Either way, these are both great shows so check em out.

Bumper stickers are out of control at this point. I've had a few on cars that I have driven. I think my first one was a Link 80 sticker (I still love that band and I even bought the guitar that was used on their last album). Later on I had a UCD sticker and then a Dodgers sticker. Now I just have a Dodgers license plate holder. The first time I ever laughed at a bumper sticker it said "Don't tailgate or I'll flick a booger on your windshield." I think I was eight years old then. The last time I laughed at one it was actually a license plate holder. It said "I brake for Luke Perry." Who doesn't brake for Dylan McKay? I've always wanted one that said "I brake for Zack Morris." Maybe next time I'm at the mall I can go to one of those creepy kiosk and have them make one for me.

Anyway, it seems like there is always some fashionable bumper sticker. You know, Calvin peeing on something, the baby on board signs, NTW, etc etc. There are a couple right now that are a bit irritating. The first is the one that lists every member of the family. You know, it's usually on the back of a minivan and it has five people and one dog on there and underneath it says "John" "Carol" "Daevyd" "Mychael" "Madyssen" and "Smuckers." I'm not sure what is going on with these stickers, but the names of the kids are what trouble me the most. Parents are out of control with the spelling of their kids' names. I have two kids and I'm almost positive that neither of their names will ever be misspelled or mispronounced. I'm sure your kids are going to appreciate having to spell their name out the rest of their lives because you and wife had a brain fart. I guarantee you that these kids with the retarded names will choose names for their kids like "John" and "Roger."

The other bumper sticker fad I've got a beef with is the "In Memory Of..." sticker. At first I saw a couple of them on cars driven by Hispanics. Fine, no big deal. Now they are everywhere, especially on big trucks driven by teenagers. We all know someone who has died, and it really is a bummer, but we don't need to memorialize them with a gaudy sticker on the back of a Ford F-150.

I read "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy a while back and I wasn't a huge fan of it. I decided to read "No Country for Old Men" by the same author and I loved it. His writing style is confusing sometimes (he doesn't use quotes at all) but I think it makes you pay more attention to what you are reading. You can see the trailer for this movie at: http://www.nocountryforoldmen-themovie.com/

Now that the Dodgers season is over, I've decided to devote my sports time to my other favorite LA team: the Kings. I haven't paid as much attention to hockey these past couple of years as I would've liked, but I'm rededicating myself this season. My brother and I went to the Kings open house where they held an open practice and their coach explained the drills they were running. It was great and it was probably the only time that I will ever sit right next to the glass. The Kings have a really young team this year with a lot of potential, so check them out when the season starts on October 6. Also, hockey is the best sport to watch live and tickets aren't very expensive.

Eva Longoria kind of has buck teef. I just wish that during the NBA Finals they would cut away from the action to show her more. It's worse than when Vanessa Williams was watching Rick Fox during the Laker playoffs.

New season of Ugly Betty starts this week. It's about dang time. I think the new show I'm most excited to check out is "Life" on NBC, but that's only because the guy from Band of Brothers is in it.

"I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry" "Good Luck Chuck" and "Chuck." When did "Chuck" become go the go-to name for entertainment programs?

Ok, that's all for now. Adios bye bye.

Dancing on the Jetty

I was reminded yesterday by a friend that I haven't updated in a long time. I commented to my wife a couple of weeks ago that I don't think I have been this busy the entire time we've been married. Actually, things are about to get even busier, but I'm not even going to touch that topic right now.

Anyway, so by the end of a day spent typing on the computer and reading drawn out legal opinions, the last thing I have wanted to do is sit down at my computer and type some more. Writing a blog shouldn't feel like a homework assignment, right?

That being said, I will actually do a real update this weekend. I'm not sure what to write about yet, but I probably won't be talking about the new blue retainer that I got this week and am wearing right now (yes, I stopped wearing my retainer and my teeth have moved, so instead of braces they are trying a new retainer. Please let this work because I don't want to show up to court for the first time with a metal mouth).

This entry, which basically talks about nothing, reminds me a bit of when the Chairman of the Fed testifies before Congress, or when a new Supreme Court justice is nominated and has to endure hours and hours of the same questions (Alan Greenspan was a master of "fed speak" ). In both cases, the Chairman or the soon-to-be justice will basically give answers without ever answering the question. That's kind of how I feel about this blog update. I've updated, without really updating, if that makes any sense.

Yo Soy Betty, La Fea

Here's a quote from Entertainment Weekly's review of the first season of Ugly Betty on dvd.

"This audacious twist solidifies Betty's status as the gayest show on TV, in both senses of the word: Not only is it steeped in a queer aesthetic, but there's palpable joy behind the sweet silliness of it all."

That's right, one of my favorite shows has been called the "gayest show on tv." As long as Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, What Not to Wear, and Grey's Anatomy are on tv, Ugly Betty will never be close to being the gayest show on tv.

The reason why I started watching this show is because my wife recognized "Dawn" from the British Office as one of the reporters on the fake fashion tv show. Then she recognized "Maggie" from Extras as the seamstress or whatever she is called at Mode magazine. I figured if this show would go to great lengths to poach two great actresses from Ricky Gervais shows, then I better check it out.

At first, I thought to myself "this show is just too gay for me." Betty's nephew is gay, Wilhemina's assistant is gay, and it seemed like gay was everywhere, but after watching a couple of episodes, either I got used to it or they toned it down a bit. I think I have seen every episode now (thanks to summer re-runs) and I can honestly say that it's one of the best shows on tv. Here are the reasons why I like it so much:

1. The interaction between Betty and Daniel. I can't remember what the guy's name is that plays Daniel, but he does a great job as the sex-crazed editor of Mode. The interaction between the two in the episode where Betty gets a makeover from her sister was great.

2. Vanessa Williams and Rebecca Romijn. These two cougars make the show. Vanessa "formerly Rick Fox's wife" plays the evil Wilhemina and Rebecca "formerly married to Uncle Jesse" Stamos plays Daniel Meade's brother who faked his death only to come back as a woman.

3. The fake telenovelas on tv. If any of you have ever seen a telenovela, then you know how cheesy they are. There were certain times in Guate where every person who owned a tv would be watching the same novela. I think the most popular one I saw was "Sonadores." We'd be walking down the street at 7:30 at night and we could hear the same thing coming out of every house we walked by.

I know that most dudes probably aren't dying to tune into a show about an assistant to the editor of a fashion magazine, but it really is one of the best shows on tv. If you saw "Real Women Have Curves" than it might take you a while to get used to seeing America Ferrara not wearing flesh-toned underwear, but just give it a couple of episodes and it will be worth it.

Foreign Music Friday

Here is another installment about something that absolutely no one (besides me) cares about. For today's pick, I decided to go with Japan. The band is the Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra, which is an entirely too long of a name for a band. They've been around since about 1985 and in the first video they team up with J-Pop superduo Puffy Ami Yumi to form one of the most uncomfortable collaborations I have ever witnessed. The girls look like they have no clue as to what is going on, or how to dance for that matter. The song starts off a little slow, but it gets better as it goes along. I always get it stuck in my head when I listen to it and then I have to spend the day mumbling lyrics because I have no idea what they are saying. Prepare to be uncomfortable...




This also marks the first Foreign Music Friday where I will include two videos by the same band. I like the following one better because it better represents Tokyo Skapa (and because one guy is playing a trash can and another is playing a tuba). I have no idea what the guy is yelling to the audience in the beginning, but judging by the audience's reaction I think he is telling them that it's important to stay in school and get a good education. Even if you don't like ska music, doesn't it look like you would have a good time at this concert?

Yo Gabba Gabba

Because I like to support work done by fellow Mormons and The Aquabats, I will put in a little plug for a new tv show on Nick Jr called Yo Gabba Gabba. It's on every morning at 7:30 is highly entertaining, even for adults. Here's a little clip from the first episode (if you have to take a test or have some sort of important meeting to go to and you don't want a song stuck in your head, do not watch this clip).

Who my 6-month old is going to be for Halloween

Foreign Music Friday

A little late, but here's my pick for this week. The band is Midnight Oil (which I think is a great name for a band), the song is "Blue Sky Mine", the country is Australia, and the year is 1990. These guys might be better known for the song "Beds Are Burning" but I like this song more. Probably the best part of this video is watching the singer dance. It almost looks like he has an itch in the middle of his back and he just can't reach it. Anyway, the guy is eccentric, to say the least.

Back To School

Next Tuesday will be my last back to school day and I couldn't be happier. If you would've told me when I was 15 years old that my undergrad degree would be in economics and that I would go on to law school, I would've told you that you were crazy. Here's a list of possible careers that I have considered over the years (in no particular order):

1. Professional baseball player (Kind of hard to accomplish that when you stop playing in high school)

2. FBI Agent (My application is actually completed, but I never submitted it. Had I not decided to go to law school, I'm pretty sure that I would be working for the FBI in some capacity, assuming I could pass the color test.)

3. Police Officer (I considered this a long time ago, but knew it would never really be a possibility. Before we got married, my wife kindly informed me that I would never be a police officer. Oh well.)

4. American History Professor (This is still one of my dreams actually. I love American History. If I was ever offered a job teaching US History on the east coast or in the south, I would do it in a heartbeat. )

5. Commercial Real Estate Broker (I did an internship with a commercial real estate firm in northern California a few years ago to see if it might be something I was interested in. Well, after a couple of months I realized that selling real estate just wasn't for me. The guys I worked with were all very nice, and I appreciated them taking me to a great Vietnamese restaurant for lunch, but without going into too much detail, working there was kind of like being in high school again. That's not a good thing.)

6. Tomato Farmer (I told my wife that for graduation I want a clock that counts backwards starting at 20 years. As soon as the 20 years are up, I'm quitting law and we are moving to central California so I can live out my dream of being a tomato farmer. She actually seems ok with the idea. If I can't afford one in central California, I'll buy a farm in Guatemala and spend my summers there.)

7. Buffalo Rancher (We used to go up to Wyoming every summer, and there was a buffalo farm close to where stayed that I thought was incredible. I would just want to raise and sell them, not slaughter them for meat.)

I'm sure there are more jobs that I have considered over the years, but these were the only ones that stuck out in my mind. Not to get all patriotic or anything, but one of the really great things about living in the United States is that you really can do anything you want as long as you are willing to work for it. In other countries the opportunities just aren't available like they are here. I used to work with a bunch europeans in a plant pathology lab and none of them wanted to go back to their native countries because they said there just aren't jobs there like there are here. The PhD students would get all nervous towards the end of their educations because they knew that their student visas were about to run out and they would have to return to France or Germany or whatever. So, for all of the US's faults, it really is a land of opportunity, even for someone who was a terrible student through high school like I was.

Too much tv

Having a couple of kids in the house means that I'm subjected to quite a bit of underage programming. We try not to let the kids watch too much tv, but sometimes we need a break (or need to take a shower) and a tv serves as a great babysitter for an hour or so. I was watching Veggie Tales on Saturday and started thinking about what it takes to make a great kids tv show. I decided to rate the different shows that our kids watch. Here they are:

1. The Wiggles: A

This is by far the most watchable out of all of my sons' tv shows. Admittedly, the concept doesn't sound great: four grown men dress up in four different colors and dance and sing. Sometimes they are accompanied by a pirate with a feather as a weapon, a dog, a dinosaur, or an octopus with a shaky voice. Yet, this show works because the guys look like they are having a great time doing what they are doing. Some of them can't dance (Jeff/Purple) or look a little too "Australian" (Murray/Red), but it doesn't matter because they are entertaining. And yes, I do have a favorite song: Big Red Car (toot toot chugga chugga big red ca-ha-ha). I also have a favorite Wiggle: Anthony, the blue Wiggle. I had a chance to take my oldest son to see them not too long ago, but we were out of town. I was actually a little disappointed.

2. The Backyardigans: B

I had my doubts about this show after I heard the different characters' names, including Tyrone, Uniqua, Pablo, and Tasha, but man the songs are catchy. I don't know how many times I've gone to work singing "a pirate, a pirate, a pirate says arrrhhhh." Man, I love that episode. I am also a big fan of "Surf's Up." My son's favorite episode is "Legend of the Volcano Sisters." The show isn't great and sometimes the characters dance just a little too much, but the songs make watching the show worth it.

3. SpongeBob Squarepants: B+

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? My son has been a little late getting into this show mainly because my wife absolutely hates it. I think she still gets a little upset when I turn it on, but I guess she figures that it's inevitable. SpongeBob reminds me of a less-funny version Ren and Stimpy. It has it's moments, but I always think that it could be just a little bit funnier if they put more effort into it. I would just give it a solid B, but the opening sequence where he gets in the tub and his head fills up with water gets me every time.

4. The Doodlebops: F

My kids don't watch this show because my wife and both really, really dislike it. You know those kids in high school who were just a little too into theater? Well, you can catch them now on the Doodlebops. In a Simpsons episode not too long ago Milhouse wanted to know if he could watch the Doodlebops on tv. I guess even the writers for the Simpsons have a strong dislike of three weirdos dressing up in ugly costumes and pretending to play instruments. DEEDEE! ROONEY! MOE! GAY!

5. The Wonder Pets: C-

Here's the story: three animals (a turtle, a duck, and some sort of gerbil) go out and help animals that are in danger. I'm not sure how this idea was pitched to Disney, but it seems like it would be a pretty tough sell. The show is animated, sort of. The characters are all cut outs of real pictures and they just try and animate their arms and mouths. It's kind of creepy, actually, but not as creepy as the little duck named "Ming Ming."

6. Little Einsteins: B-

I think this show is great for kids. It teaches them about classical music, astronomy, artists, etc., but there is something about this show that I can't get with. Maybe it's because they ask too many questions of the audience. Will our clapping really help out Rocket? What about Little Totem Pole? I think the main problem I have with this show is the theme song. If you hear it once in the morning, I promise you that you will be singing it all day.

I've left out some other shows, but it's time to move on to a some random thoughts:

1. When I was younger, I would practice walking around my house without making any noise. I memorized which stairs creaked and where to walk on the wood floor so it wouldn't crack. I also learned that linoleum is soundproof. I'm not sure why I did this, but even today I will try and do it. This little game of my doesn't mesh well with a skittish wife. I've scared my wife so many times walking around the house that now when I know she is there, I have to start sniffing like I have a cold when I'm about to enter a room she is in. Either that or I just announce "I'm about to walk into the kitchen." I told her before that when she is in the house just to expect that I'll walk into the room she is in at any minute, but that never really worked out for her.

2. I loved this commercial when it came out and I still love it:



Everytime I see the guy hit the bed I start cracking up.

3. I watched "Victoria Beckham: Coming to America" and I loved it. More out that another time though.

4. Bobby Flay once said that heirloom tomatoes are the most flavorful, so I decided to plant some along with a bunch of other varieties of tomatoes. After eating a ton of them, I'm inclined to agree. However, heirlooms are an ugly tomato. They look like one tomato is trying to grow out from the inside of another tomato. I wonder if anyone has ever tried to create a tomato that tastes like a heirloom, but has the more pleasant appearance of a golden boy, an early girl, or a beefsteak. Maybe I should drop out of law school and go back to Davis and study agriculture.

5. The Orangesicle shake from Carl's Jr. is surprisingly delicious.

Foreign Music Friday

My choice for this Foreign Music Friday is the song "Esperanza" by Enrique Iglesias. When this song came out and when I originally heard it, Enrique Iglesias wasn't well known in the US. I think his first popular song here was "Bailamos" which came out a couple of years after this was released. This song was released on the album "Cosas del Amor" which is E.I.'s best album by far (yes, I'm proud to admit that I own a few of his other albums). His English music is ok, but if you can look past his gay Spanish accent, you'll notice that his Spanish music is on a whole different level.

Dreams do come true

It's like looking into a mirror.

Check out www.simpsonizeme.com

Foreign Music Friday

This is the first installment of "Foreign Music Friday." I would say that most Americans are pretty ignorant when it comes to music made outside of the US. I know I was prior to my two year sojourn in Central America.

Usually when someone says "Hey, you should check out band X" you never end up doing it. Why? Well, if you are like me than you feel like you don't have enough time to listen to the bands that you do like, let alone new bands that you probably won't like. I've decided now that when someone says "check out this band" I will definitely do it. My brother wanted me to check out the new Silverchair album for some reason and I actually did it (even though I didn't really like it that much).

My first entry comes from England. The song is "Gangsters" by the Specials. As you can see from the comments, the video is from 1979. This is two-tone ska at its best.

What?

I was just going through my stack of things to work on, and these are the instructions the attorney gave me for one of my projects:

"Also do a deed + to the ltd partnership for the irrevocable trust dog deed to the trustee of the trust."

I don't know what that means, other than I'm going to work on something else until he can explain what he wrote to me.

Message received at...

Whenever I am "chatting" with someone online, I always wonder what it looks like where they are sitting. I've also heard that you can tell a lot about a person just by looking at their workspace. So I decided to take a picture of my desk and share with you this so you can see where I spend Mondays through Fridays from 8:30 to 5:00. I've numbered random things, and although they numbers are a bit hard to see, I'll explain each one.

1. This is our incredible fax machine. The best part about this treasured office machine is that the automatic feeder doesn't really work, so when the boss (who may or not be my dad) decides that he needs to send a 15 page fax, guess who gets to sit there and feed each page separately into the machine? Yours truly. Both the secretary (who may or may not be my mom) and I have asked for a new fax machine, but the boss is holding out for some reason. I think he takes some sick pleasure in the fact that the fax machine doesn't work very well.

2. Number 2 is my lovely computer, which I purchased right before I began law school. It's a Dell Inspiron 700m and the reason I purchased it is because it was the smallest one they had at the time (12.1 inches). On my desktop is a picture of my baseball hero, Sandy Koufax. In my home I have five other pictures of Sandy Koufax, including one that's autographed. Anyway, my computer has held up pretty well, but the "s" button is starting to flame out on me. I wonder if there is a way to make this key more sensitive so I don't have to hit it so hard everytime I touch it.

3. What would a nice workspace be without a Far Side calendar? I complained to the secretary about her choice of calendar (it had to do with "special sayings for women." No joke.) so she went out and bought me the Far Side one sometime in February. Since it was so late, it was only a buck. What a great deal.

4. Here's the keyboard to the desktop which I try to use as little as possible because I don't really fit under it. The desk is only about 3 1/2 or 4 ft tall, and the keyboard hangs under it so when I type there, I don't even try and put my legs under the desk.

5. My phone and my keys. I actually just got a new phone because my razr kicked the bucket. The battery stopped working literally two weeks after the warrant had run out on it. I bought another batter and that one didn't work, so it was time for a new phone. Usually I'm pretty excited, but this time there wasn't anything that I was really interested in. I ended up getting a krazr (sp?). It's ok. I'm just praying that when it breaks (because I know it will) that it does so within a year from now.

6. These are my time sheets. Everytime I stop work or switch clients, I have to start filling out the time sheet and write in exactly what I'm working on. It is a huge hassle. I look back fondly on my days working at the "retirement community" where I swiped a card when I showed up and swiped a card when I left.

7. Typical file folder. I was working on a set of special interrogatories at the time. Here is my favorite paragraphed that I typed:

13.  The terms "RELATE TO" and "RELATING TO" shall
mean regarding, concerning, referring to,
constituting, memorializing, depicting, mentioning,
specifying, listing, summarizing, reviewing,
identifying, establishing, evidencing, supporting,
describing, recording, embodying, studying, analyzing
or discussing.

If there is one thing I love about the legal profession, it's the insane amount of wordiness, which I'm pretty sure isn't a word, but it's the best word that I could come up with right now.

8. This is a Charlie Brown Christmas snow globe. I'm not sure why it's still up, but we put it there before Christmas 2006 and never took it down. It's also nice to have when my oldest boy comes to the office and needs something to play with.

9. Another file that I was using as a reference.

10. A picture of my sister and her oldest kid when she was a newborn. I'm not sure why it's taped to the base of the monitor, but I guess that is where the secretary wanted it.

Anyway, there's a brief tour of my workspace for you. Besides the lack of space on the desk, it's really not so bad sitting there all day. If only we could get a new fax machine...

Famous

Yesterday I went down to Hollywood with my brother and his wife to act like tourists and check out the walk of fame and people watch. I realized a few things while I was down there:

1. I really do enjoy doing tourist-y things.
2. Pink's has delicious hot dogs (I got the spicy Chicago sausage AND the bacon and chili dog). I'm overweight going on obese.
3. I would like to live in Los Angeles.
4. I've met a few "celebrities" in my day.

The reason I started thinking about celebrities was because of the weird look-a-like people that hang out around the Chinese theater and take pictures with Japanese tourists. You know, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, Pinhead, Freddy Krueger, Spiderman, etc etc. Anyway, I mentally compiled a list of celebrities that I've met (and by "met" I mean, I came within 5-10 feet of that person, and this list doesn't include athletes or musicians), and here's my list of who and where:

1. Richard Dreyfuss (Border's in Montclair. I was pretty excited because I loved his character in "American Graffitti.")
2. The blind kid from Dumb and Dumber (Lindsey's house. He was playing Nintendo with her brother I think)
3. Scott Bakula (Filming Quantum Leap in Claremont)
4. Drew Carey (Also at Border's in Montclair. He was doing a book signing)
5. Marshall from Alias (Dodger game)
6. Coolio (SLC airport)
7. Guy with the long hair from Guatemalan super-group Contacto

Not a bad compilation of D-list celebrities, right? There might be more, but I can't think of them right now. However, there is one celebrity that I just recently met that I am more excited about than the rest of the others combined. Not only did I meet this celebrity, but I also rubbed his tummy and felt his furry head. Here he is:



No, I didn't meet Weird Al, I met the dog on the cover of this album. Turns out he is the pet of a guy I go to school with. Let's just say this was the friendliest/scariest-looking dog I have ever met, and the first celebrity that I have ever scratched behind the ear.

On a different subject, I went and saw "Transformers" this weekend and it was the first movie I've seen this summer that didn't disappoint. In fact, it was way better than I imagined it would be. The last time I was ever really blown away by the special effects in a movie was in Jurassic Park. Well, maybe it was in the second X-Men movie where Nightcrawler is about to attack the president at the opening of the movie. Either way, I thought the special effects in Transformers were absolutely incredible. Not only that, but the movie was hilarious. Shia LeBouf is a great actor. I hadn't seen him in a movie since "Holes" (which was also a great movie), but I look forward to seeing whatever movie he makes next. Actually, I think his next movie is the new Indiana Jones film. Should be good.

Anyway, I need to get back to the Dodgers game. I'll try and update more frequently.

POP

I watched "Music and Lyrics" the other night. While I've forgotten already what the plot was (or was there one?), I can't seem to get the song from the movie out of my head. Every person I've talked to that has seen the movie has said the same thing. Hugh Grant's performance in this video almost rivals his great performance in "About a Boy," which I would argue is one of the most underrated movies out there.

Ugly

Well, I know that my favorite time of year has finally arrived because the winner of the "Ugliest Dog" competition was announced again. The top picture is the winner from 2006, and the one below is the winner from this year.

I'm not a dog person. My family never owned a dog and I would seriously doubt that we will ever own a dog. I would much rather own a cat. It's less work and they don't smell or poop all over the yard. However, if I could own one of these dogs, I would do it in a heartbeat. Think of how much better owning one of these dogs would make you feel about yourself. You know, sometimes you look in the mirror and think "Hey, I'm fat" or "My hair is falling out" or "How did you ever get married?" or something like that, but having the world's ugliest dog for a pet would always give you a different perspective on attractiveness. To make yourself feel better, you could always look at the dog and say "At least I don't look as ugly as you."

Quickly

Have any of you tried out redbox yet (redbox.com)? They are little video machines inside of Albertson's (and possibly other supermarkets) where you swipe your credit card and get a movie...for $1.08. It's awesome. The selection is limited, but they are all new movies and for those of us who really never go to the theater anymore, it's a godsend. Each day that the movie is late, it will cost you another $1.08 until you hit $25 and then you keep the movie. What a great idea.

I wrote a couple weeks ago about the absence of hair metal bands. Well, I came across this article recently:

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1562329/20070612/taking_back_sunday.jhtml

The title of this article is "Is Emo-Punk Just Hair Metal's Second Coming?" Are you kidding me? Total blasphemy. That's like trying to argue that the Smashing Pumpkins are a better band than INXS (in the Michael Hutchence days). No way, broseph.

I watched the first half hour of "Team America: World Police" last weekend. I'm pretty sure that the theme song from the movie is the second funniest song I have ever heard, next to "Pool Party" by the Aquabats.

No thanks

There are probably thousands of Mormons around the US that are thrilled that Mitt Romney is running for president. I'm not one of them.

A buddy of mine at school has probably sent me over 200 articles on Mitt Romney, both positive and negative. What common theme is found in every article? Mitt's religion. I'm not one to be ashamed of what I believe in, but when I read articles written by people who argue that Mitt's religion will prevent him from every being president, I want to crawl under a rock and hide out until he either fails to get the nomination or is not elected president.

My buddy, aware of my feelings about a Mormon candidate, sent me an article today about other Mormons who are weary of their religion being discussed so much in the media. What's worse than reading these articles is reading the comments written by people responding to the article. It's incredible how angry someone can get about another person's religion. Here's a great example of some loser on Bill O'Reilly arguing that "A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for Satan." Incredible.



I love how Bill O'Reilly ends the interview. If you ever want to see a great BOR interview, check out the one he did with Dr. Laura and watch his face when she uses the term "sweaty embrace."

A popular topic among Mormon critics is polygamy. It's precisely this doctrine which makes me think that those early members of the church who practiced polygamy were men of God. Not to knock my wife (who I love very much), but one wife is plenty. To get me to take on another wife, it really would have to be a commandment from God and even then I would really have to think about it. I already suck bad enough as a husband to one wife, I don't need to suck as a husband to multiple wives. Plus, I don't need anyone else in the house telling me that I need to empty the kitchen garbage can.

Back to Mitt: I'm sure I'll end up voting for the guy if he gets the nomination (which I don't think will happen, or maybe I just don't want it to happen). I would just be happy if I could read an article about him without hearing anything about how his religion is the biggest obstacle he needs to overcome.

Moving on...

Did any of you catch the MTV movie awards? Neither did I, but I did read about this gem from Sarah Silverman:

“That movie 300? Turns out how they got that title was they measured how gay it was. On a scale of one to 10.”

When I read this, it was one of those times where I was reminded why I shouldn't be surfing the internet at work. It's hard to pretend like you are laughing at a trial notebook you are supposed to be working on.

I lamented the death of 80's hair metal in my last journal entry, but afterwards I remembered that there is one part of one song that reminds me of a great 80's hit. The song is "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance, and really the only part of the song that sounds like it should be played in an arena comes at the very end. I'm not a huge MCR fan, but their last album was pretty good. I can't ever watch any videos by these guys because the singer looks like Billy Corgan and there is no band that I dislike more than the Smashing Pumpkins.

The end.

Random Thoughts

I haven't really had time lately to do the kind of update that I would like, so here are a few random thoughts for a Sunday night.

1. Few things in this life are worth paying extra money for, but a good pair of comfortable tennis shoes are priceless. By far, Nike wins in this department. I tried spending $20 on a pair of Avias (or something like that) from Big 5, but they were totally uncomfortable and I ended up spending $60 on a pair of Nikes six months later.

2. Brie cheese is a gift from heaven. True brie cheese cannot be imported into this country from France (I think I read that the FDA, with respect to cheeses, requires that cheeses must be made from pasteurized milk and aged 60 days) because it is not made from pasteurized milk and is not aged very long in order to keep a soft texture. When you buy a brie in the supermarket, it will have French flags on it and look like it's nice and imported, but chances are it was made in the USA. That being said, it is still delicious and is worth the extra expense.

3. Kobe announced his demand for a trade this week (which he later recanted, then reaffirmed, then recanted, then reaffirmed, etc) while I was getting some documents recorded in a certain city in LA county. When I arrived back at the office and turned on my computer, I had an instant message from my wife with the story and a couple of my friends had emailed me the same article. Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about Laker basketball. When Shaq was run out of town, I vowed not to watch any more Laker games until Kobe was gone. I have seen a few minutes here and there, but basically I have been avoiding Laker games for the past three years (my favorite team to watch is the Bobcats). Although I don't see Kobe leaving the Lakers anything soon, contrary to what he is saying, the best deal I have heard so far would involve Kobe going to the Bobcats in exchange for Emeka Okafur and the number 8 pick in the draft. Right now Okafur is probably my favorite player to watch and I would gladly start watching Laker games again if he were on the team.

4. Pinkberry. This place is THE frozen yogurt place to the "stars," or something like that. One just opened up in Victoria Gardens and we decided to check it out. We walked in, and walked right back out. I'm not paying $5+ for mediocre frozen yogurt just so I can be "seen." They even had a sign that said "No Photography in Store." Heaven forbid someone might want to take a picture of your overpriced menu.

5. Why aren't there any hair metal bands out there? When it comes to 80's butt-rock bands, no doubt Poison was the greatest of them all. The makeup, the big hair, the tight leather pants, the huge stadium rock shows with pyrotechnics, cheesy lyrics and unnecessary, over-the-top guitar solos...I mean, isn't it about time this music was popular again? I know some of these bands still tour, and I would see them, but they are all fat now and basically just shells of their former selves. These were the guys who used to get drugged and boozed up, sleep with tons of people, and basically just destroy their livers before age 25. These were the guys I wanted to be like when I was in elementary school. Now we are subjected to the exploits of Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton. Whatever happened to the male rockstar? Where is the Axl Rose type? Kids need these role models.

6. Perhaps the greatest sentence ever to come out of anyone's mouth is "I could eat a knob at night." If you have no idea what I am talking about, check out the podcasts that Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington did. If you have no idea who any of the aforementioned men are, there is something seriously lacking in your life. Speaking of Stephen Merchant, I know Ricky Gervais gets all of the attention, but Stephen Merchant deserves more credit than he gets. Without his humor and writing ability, "The Office" would never have been what it was.

7. The funniest episode of the American "Office" will never be one-tenth as funny as the least funny episode of the British version. One day I will make my pilgramage to Slough, just so I can see that round-a-bout and the sign that says "Slough Trading Estate" from the opening credits. Anyone want to go with me?

The end.

The Most Anticipated Movie of 2008

Here is a recently-leaked image from the best movie of 2008. Looks awesome.

Lovely

Well, after a being gone for a week or so on a "family outing" (it doesn't count as a vacation when you travel with little kids and you visit relatives along the way) I am back with a book review of sorts. Since school ended a little over a week ago, I have been reading like crazy. I started reading three books at once, including "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold, "The World of Karl Pilkington" by Karl Pilkington, and "It Must've Been Something I Ate" by Jeffrey Steingaren. I've finished the first two and am now working on the Steingarten book (which is an incredible book).

Anyway, "The Lovely Bones" was a book that I had been meaning to read for quite a while, but since I don't buy books, I had to wait until it wasn't popular at the library anymore so I could check it out (I'm also in the same situation with "Atonement" by Ian McEwan, not a church book, by the way). I've also heard a rumor that Peter Jackson bought the rights to TLB, wrote a script, and is going to direct a movie version of the book. I can honestly say that I don't think I will be seeing the movie. Too often I am disappointed by the movie and it sort of ruins the book for me. The best example of this was "The Bourne Identity." I loved the three books, and went and saw the movie on opening day only to be sorely disappointed since it really didn't follow the book at at all, aside from there being a character named Jason Bourne who suffers from amnesia. However "The Bourne Supremacy" was easier to swallow because I knew ahead of time it wasn't going to follow the books. Actually, I thought it was a great movie, even with the overacting on the part of the main female character and my strong dislike of Julia Stiles.

Back to TLB...when I was living in Utah a few years ago, it seemed like child kidnapping/murders were in vogue in the news. At that time, Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped (by the way she now looks like Elisha Cuthbert) and it seemed like every few weeks or so another little girl was being kidnapped or found murdered. Sadly, it happens all the time, but it seemed like at that particular time it was being covered more frequently than it is now.

There are a lot of things in this world that I find disturbing, but child abductions/murders/rape tops the list, probably even more so now that I have children of my own. I just can't seem to grasp what could ever make someone do something harmful to a child. I bought a cd a few years ago, and as I always do with new cds, I read the lyrics along the first time I listen to it. In this particular cd, the singer who had written the lyrics included his thoughts about each song and what made him write the song. Anyway, the song he had written that stuck out the most to me was about the recent "wave" of child abductions and it included lyrics that have always stuck out in my mind. Normally, I don't post lyrics or poems or anything like that, but here's what stuck out:

And as the day fades, no one investigates.
Nobody answers when she calls their names.
Another victim somewhere in a shallow grave.
I want to hold her and tell her: "It's not your fault."

So, keeping this in mind, I started reading TLB, which is a story about a 14-year old girl who is kidnapped, raped, and murdered. This all happens in the first chapter, and the rest of the story is her narration from heaven of what follows, i.e. her family's, friends' and even the killer's response to what happened.

Since I would like any of you who read this (which I think is only person) I won't go into detail about the plot, but just know that it is an excellent book. Some of the parts dealing with her family's reaction is hard to read because I could see how that would easily happen to any family. I've often wondered how couples can stay together after the loss of a child. When my wife miscarried at about 19 weeks, it was a terrible experience and this was a child that we hadn't even met yet.

If you do read the book, there is one chapter at the end that is totally unnecessary. I wish I would've known ahead of time and just skipped it (I think it's chapter 22, or the next to last chapter). Anyway, if you feel like reading a semi-depressing story, this is one that I would highly recommend.

After reading TLB, it was definitely nice to read "The World of Karl Pilkington" which I will discuss in another entry.

A tribute

Worst Headline Ever

"TV network cancels cult hit Veronica Mars"

Bummer

What do you get when you cross "Batman Forever" with "The Phantom Menace?" Answer: Spiderman 3. What a disappointing movie, especially after how good the first two were. There was one major highlight though: Bryce Howard. I had only seen her in two other movies, both of which weren't very good (well, "Lady in the Water" was the worst movie I have seen in the past five years at least), and neither time did I think she was attractive. I'm not sure if it was the red hair or what, but she wasn't really doing anything for me. That being said, she looked great in this movie. I was pretty surprised by what a difference hair color makes (and a lot of makeup and camerawork). Either way, I don't think I'll ever watch Spiderman 3 again, but I'll definitely check out the next movie that Bryce Howard is in (unless it's another M. Night Shymalanananan bomb).

5 Year Reunion

Today marks the Mrs. and I's five year anniversary. I'm fatter now, have less hair, and have two kids. They day we got married was pretty interesting. The night before I was pretty nervous, so I had a really hard time falling asleep. Once I did, the phone in our hotel room rang at like 1:30 in the morning and when I answered it, no one was there. I thought it was my wife bailing on the wedding, which made me not sleep the rest of the night. Anyway, I got up, took a shower, and then we headed to Denny's for breakfast (I ordered the "eggs over my hammy" and a chocolate shake. Denny's is underrated) and then back to the hotel where I left a present in the shower for my brother and my buddy who were also staying in the room.

Well, we got married and then some funny stuff happened afterwards which I can't share here, or anywhere else for that matter. Let's just say I've always felt bad for my buddy who slept the bed I had slept in the night before.

We had a great honeymoon, but the picture above is what the place looks like now. I wonder if it's a bad sign that the place we took our honeymoon is burning to the ground on our five year anniversary?

I also didn't sleep well last night, but neither did my wife. The reason? Both kids kept waking up. And we aren't really celebrating today because I had a final yesterday and one tomorrow, so I have to spend the day studying. We are heading up to Utah next week, so maybe we'll celebrate by going to our favorite Italian restaurant up there. We'll see.

Anyway, Happy Anniversary to us.

I want my TMZ

Let me first point out to you that I don't like celebrities. I don't care what they do, where they eat, what causes/sports teams they are bandwagoning. Actually, I should clarify one point: a "celebrity" to me is a person with no discernible talent. Anyone else can be classified as an actor, musician, etc, but a "celebrity" is truly a worthless human being. Also, most celebrities are women, 5'2"-5'6" tall, way too skinny, dress poorly, and for some odd reason, they all wear enormous sunglasses. I realize that fashion trends change and for some cruel joke women who wear tights under an ugly skirt are "fashionable," but the huge sunglasses kill me. Why not just duct tape two ashtrays to your face? And let's not even talk about white-rimmed sunglasses...

That being said, one of my favorite websites is tmz.com. I check it three times a day on average. I don't even know why I look at it. I used to be a huge fan of perezhilton.com, but that started getting a little too vulgar for me, so I switched over to the milder tmz.com. On the front page right now, you can find stories on Lance Bass, Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Ellen, Nick Lachey, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and of course comedian Don Rickles (no joke). What do all of these people have in common? They are famous for being talentless...and I know exactly what they are doing everyday.

By the way, not one person I know thinks Paris Hilton is attractive. I'm pretty sure that the only men that do think she is attractive are the ones who have seen her sex tape. It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine left the dirty message on the phone and pretty soon all of the guys were attracted to her just because they had heard her talk "dirty." When I was in 10th grade, there was a girl who sat next to me that wasn't attractive at all. One day we were sitting in Spanish class and she was leaning over to get some pretzels out of her backpack when out came her entire boob (the guy sitting behind me was nice enough to point it out). In fact, every time she reached for a pretzel, out it came. After seeing this about 10 times in a 40 minute span, I started thinking to myself "Man, this chick is pretty hot."

So the moral of the story is this: sometimes you look at certain websites for no reason, and if you see someone naked, they will almost always start being more attractive to you.

Hatchets

I received an email a couple weeks ago from an old companion. Here's an excerpt:

"Hey -----, I know we had a rough companionship. Our personalities are pretty different, but honestly, I'm so glad we were companions. I didn't realize it until the end of my mission when I was in president's office. He handed me the card with my companions and in looking at those names it hit me pretty hard that the Lord had put me with people to prepare me and make me a better person and a better missionary. I'm sorry for being difficult at times. I know I didn't handle a lot of those situations well. I had a lot to learn. Thanks for suffering through it."

I was pretty surprised to get this and I felt pretty bad when I read it. We were companions for a very short period of time (for which I was extremely grateful) and he was the only companion I didn't get a long with (and the only companion I had that actually started crying one time because he was so mad at me). Anyway, I wrote back and told him it was no big deal and that I was sorry for not being more understanding.

That's two "hatchets" I have buried within the past few months. It's really not such a bad feeling. I still have a few more "hatchets" out there, so I should probably take care of them at some point. Speaking of hatchets, "Hatchet" by Gary Paulson was an awesome book.

Con law kills me

I just took my con law exam on Saturday and one of the main topics was freedom of speech. The court has held that sexually explicit material is constitutionally protected under the First Amendment. However, obscene material is not covered. I mean, is there really a difference? Aren't they one and the same?

This was probably the class I was most excited to take in law school because I believed that it would involve good discussions of American history. I was wrong. It is also one of the most confusing subjects in law school because, unlike every other field of law, the court's rulings are not based on the principle of stare decisis. The rulings are based on the political makeup of the court. As of right now, that is probably a good thing since the Court at this point in time leans more to the right than it does to the left. That being said, rules that I have just learned which supposedly should be the same as rules handed down two hundred years ago, might magically change tomorrow just because the Court doesn't like them.

Anyway, at least the class is over. Time to study for business organizations, which is infinitely more boring, but at least the rules have been the same for decades and will not change simply because the Court does not agree with them.

Ricardo Arjona

This is the video for my favorite spanish song (or should I say "song in spanish?"). I remember hearing it in Guatemala for the first time. We were knocking doors at night this family let us in. They were watching novelas and this was the theme song to one of them. I found out a few months later who sang it and so I went out and bought the tape. Anyway, this guy is actually LDS (not active, if you couldn't tell by the video) and is also Guatemalan. I had never seen the video up until a couple of days ago, and it is pretty spicy, so I recommend opening another window and just listening instead of watching it. Enjoy.

Dissent in Romer v. Evans

This Court has no business imposing upon all Americans the resolution favored by the elite class from which the Members of this institution are selected, pronouncing that "animosity" toward homosexuality is "evil."

The Court's disposition today suggests that these provisions are unconstitutional, and that polygamy must be permitted in these States on a state-legislated, or perhaps even local-option, basis-unless, of course, polygamists for some reason have few constitutional rights than homosexuals.

Hooray for Frank Tenaglia

The greatest thing about youtube is not the videos, but rather the music you can listen to. It's kind of like having your own radio station because you can hear practically any song you want to at any time because some loser out there has made his own video using it.

Anyway, this week I have shuffled between a few videos, including "Someday I Suppose" by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "Take on Me" by A-ha, and "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson (I know, random). Anyway, here's my favorite video of the week (doesn't this guy look like a guy you would want to hang out with on the weekend?):

My hero

The smartest man in America.

Football

I don't like football and I really never have. I enjoy playing it, but I've always thought it was a brainless sport for athletes who weren't really coordinated enough to be good at sport that required real talent. That being said, I know a bit about football (I mean, I check out cnnsi.com and espn.com ten times a day) and I know who is good and who is not.

This clip was emailed to me yesterday by a buddy and I laughed so hard that I thought my wound was going to rip open (I still have nine staples to hold it there thankfully). When I showed it to the Mrs., I had to walk away because I didn't want to be in pain again. This video gets funnier the longer it goes on and is definitely better the second time around. Enjoy.

I'm so beard

So, I've been pretty much sitting in bed now for four days and I am pretty bored. So bored, in fact, that I decided to take a picture of my awesome facial hair (actually, it looks more like I have a hairy, swollen knee).

I've always been disappointed in my facial hair. Being a big fan of "90210" I thought it would be awesome to sport some Dylan/Brandon sideburns. I've finally come to the realization that that will never happen. Oh well, maybe in another lifetime.

Stay off "The Road"

I subscribe to Entertainment Weekly and I have done so now for about five years. For some reason, when people find this out, they are somewhat surprised that I would be interested in the entertainment world (like it's gay or something). I mean, it's not like I subscribe to US magazine. Anyway, Stephen King has been writing for EW for a couple of years now, and at the end of each year he does a top ten list of his favorite books. Last year he picked "The Plot Against America" by Philip Roth, so I decided to read it. It was an interesting concept.

"The Plot Against America explores a wholly imagined thesis and sees it through to the end: Charles A. Lindbergh defeats FDR for the Presidency in 1940. Lindbergh, the "Lone Eagle," captured the country's imagination by his solo Atlantic crossing in 1927 in the monoplane, Spirit of St. Louis, then had the country's sympathy upon the kidnapping and murder of his young son. He was a true American hero: brave, modest, handsome, a patriot. According to some reliable sources, he was also a rabid isolationist, Nazi sympathizer, and a crypto-fascist. It is these latter attributes of Lindbergh that inform the novel."

I read it, but I thought it was just ok. This year, Mr. King picked "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy (Oprah subsequently picked it for her book club pick, but let's ignore that). Well, I decided to read it and sitting here in bed all day gave me the opportunity to devote some time to it.

Here's the description of the book: "A father and his son walk alone through burned America. Nothing moves in the ravaged landscape save the ash on the wind. It is cold enough to crack stones, and when the snow falls it is gray. The sky is dark. Their destination is the coast, although they don't know what, if anything, awaits them there. They have nothing; just a pistol to defend themselves against the lawless bands that stalk the road, the clothes they are wearing, a cart of scavenged food-—and each other."

Sounds interesting, right? Well, it really wasn't. In fact, it was pretty boring. And I'm still not really sure what the whole point of the book was. The book is about 250 pages long, but it's written in blue-hair font, so it's really only about 150 pages in a normal font size. I think this was the first time that I have ever read a book where I thought the movie version would probably be a lot more interesting.

My definition of a good book is a book that I think about long after I have finished reading it. Recent examples of "good" books include "The Prestige" by Christopher Priest (don't see the movie) and "Lonesome Dove" by Larry McMurtry (tv miniseries was great). Examples of "bad" books include "Tuesdays with Morrie" (way too cheesy and boring) and "Hannibal Rising" (probably the worst book I have ever read). I haven't thought about "The Road" at all. So...two guys walk around looking for food. Zzzzzz.

I'm well-aware that many media outlets have called "The Road" the best book of the year. Fine. Maybe I have bad tastes in books. Instead of hopping on the bandwagon and professing my love for this "literary masterpiece" I will disagree and say "The Road" is poorly-written and ultimately pointless (much like this review). If a dystopian view of the future is what you are after, I would recommend "Farenheit 451" or "1984."

OUCH

This is pretty uncomfortable.

All fixed up

God bless Vicodin.

It may in fact be a moth

Free Love on the Freelove Freeway

Quote of the day

Overheard in school today: "Anal penetration is an unfriendly way of introducing yourself."

Comedic Gold

This song dictated the course of my youth

The following is erotic...and stunningly sensual.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdDxz2bkfhE

Large Grooved

"Rigatoni's ridges and holes are perfect with any sauce, from cream or cheese to the chunkiest meat sauces."

Hell yeah.