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Whenever I am "chatting" with someone online, I always wonder what it looks like where they are sitting. I've also heard that you can tell a lot about a person just by looking at their workspace. So I decided to take a picture of my desk and share with you this so you can see where I spend Mondays through Fridays from 8:30 to 5:00. I've numbered random things, and although they numbers are a bit hard to see, I'll explain each one.

1. This is our incredible fax machine. The best part about this treasured office machine is that the automatic feeder doesn't really work, so when the boss (who may or not be my dad) decides that he needs to send a 15 page fax, guess who gets to sit there and feed each page separately into the machine? Yours truly. Both the secretary (who may or may not be my mom) and I have asked for a new fax machine, but the boss is holding out for some reason. I think he takes some sick pleasure in the fact that the fax machine doesn't work very well.

2. Number 2 is my lovely computer, which I purchased right before I began law school. It's a Dell Inspiron 700m and the reason I purchased it is because it was the smallest one they had at the time (12.1 inches). On my desktop is a picture of my baseball hero, Sandy Koufax. In my home I have five other pictures of Sandy Koufax, including one that's autographed. Anyway, my computer has held up pretty well, but the "s" button is starting to flame out on me. I wonder if there is a way to make this key more sensitive so I don't have to hit it so hard everytime I touch it.

3. What would a nice workspace be without a Far Side calendar? I complained to the secretary about her choice of calendar (it had to do with "special sayings for women." No joke.) so she went out and bought me the Far Side one sometime in February. Since it was so late, it was only a buck. What a great deal.

4. Here's the keyboard to the desktop which I try to use as little as possible because I don't really fit under it. The desk is only about 3 1/2 or 4 ft tall, and the keyboard hangs under it so when I type there, I don't even try and put my legs under the desk.

5. My phone and my keys. I actually just got a new phone because my razr kicked the bucket. The battery stopped working literally two weeks after the warrant had run out on it. I bought another batter and that one didn't work, so it was time for a new phone. Usually I'm pretty excited, but this time there wasn't anything that I was really interested in. I ended up getting a krazr (sp?). It's ok. I'm just praying that when it breaks (because I know it will) that it does so within a year from now.

6. These are my time sheets. Everytime I stop work or switch clients, I have to start filling out the time sheet and write in exactly what I'm working on. It is a huge hassle. I look back fondly on my days working at the "retirement community" where I swiped a card when I showed up and swiped a card when I left.

7. Typical file folder. I was working on a set of special interrogatories at the time. Here is my favorite paragraphed that I typed:

13.  The terms "RELATE TO" and "RELATING TO" shall
mean regarding, concerning, referring to,
constituting, memorializing, depicting, mentioning,
specifying, listing, summarizing, reviewing,
identifying, establishing, evidencing, supporting,
describing, recording, embodying, studying, analyzing
or discussing.

If there is one thing I love about the legal profession, it's the insane amount of wordiness, which I'm pretty sure isn't a word, but it's the best word that I could come up with right now.

8. This is a Charlie Brown Christmas snow globe. I'm not sure why it's still up, but we put it there before Christmas 2006 and never took it down. It's also nice to have when my oldest boy comes to the office and needs something to play with.

9. Another file that I was using as a reference.

10. A picture of my sister and her oldest kid when she was a newborn. I'm not sure why it's taped to the base of the monitor, but I guess that is where the secretary wanted it.

Anyway, there's a brief tour of my workspace for you. Besides the lack of space on the desk, it's really not so bad sitting there all day. If only we could get a new fax machine...

Famous

Yesterday I went down to Hollywood with my brother and his wife to act like tourists and check out the walk of fame and people watch. I realized a few things while I was down there:

1. I really do enjoy doing tourist-y things.
2. Pink's has delicious hot dogs (I got the spicy Chicago sausage AND the bacon and chili dog). I'm overweight going on obese.
3. I would like to live in Los Angeles.
4. I've met a few "celebrities" in my day.

The reason I started thinking about celebrities was because of the weird look-a-like people that hang out around the Chinese theater and take pictures with Japanese tourists. You know, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, Pinhead, Freddy Krueger, Spiderman, etc etc. Anyway, I mentally compiled a list of celebrities that I've met (and by "met" I mean, I came within 5-10 feet of that person, and this list doesn't include athletes or musicians), and here's my list of who and where:

1. Richard Dreyfuss (Border's in Montclair. I was pretty excited because I loved his character in "American Graffitti.")
2. The blind kid from Dumb and Dumber (Lindsey's house. He was playing Nintendo with her brother I think)
3. Scott Bakula (Filming Quantum Leap in Claremont)
4. Drew Carey (Also at Border's in Montclair. He was doing a book signing)
5. Marshall from Alias (Dodger game)
6. Coolio (SLC airport)
7. Guy with the long hair from Guatemalan super-group Contacto

Not a bad compilation of D-list celebrities, right? There might be more, but I can't think of them right now. However, there is one celebrity that I just recently met that I am more excited about than the rest of the others combined. Not only did I meet this celebrity, but I also rubbed his tummy and felt his furry head. Here he is:



No, I didn't meet Weird Al, I met the dog on the cover of this album. Turns out he is the pet of a guy I go to school with. Let's just say this was the friendliest/scariest-looking dog I have ever met, and the first celebrity that I have ever scratched behind the ear.

On a different subject, I went and saw "Transformers" this weekend and it was the first movie I've seen this summer that didn't disappoint. In fact, it was way better than I imagined it would be. The last time I was ever really blown away by the special effects in a movie was in Jurassic Park. Well, maybe it was in the second X-Men movie where Nightcrawler is about to attack the president at the opening of the movie. Either way, I thought the special effects in Transformers were absolutely incredible. Not only that, but the movie was hilarious. Shia LeBouf is a great actor. I hadn't seen him in a movie since "Holes" (which was also a great movie), but I look forward to seeing whatever movie he makes next. Actually, I think his next movie is the new Indiana Jones film. Should be good.

Anyway, I need to get back to the Dodgers game. I'll try and update more frequently.

POP

I watched "Music and Lyrics" the other night. While I've forgotten already what the plot was (or was there one?), I can't seem to get the song from the movie out of my head. Every person I've talked to that has seen the movie has said the same thing. Hugh Grant's performance in this video almost rivals his great performance in "About a Boy," which I would argue is one of the most underrated movies out there.

Ugly

Well, I know that my favorite time of year has finally arrived because the winner of the "Ugliest Dog" competition was announced again. The top picture is the winner from 2006, and the one below is the winner from this year.

I'm not a dog person. My family never owned a dog and I would seriously doubt that we will ever own a dog. I would much rather own a cat. It's less work and they don't smell or poop all over the yard. However, if I could own one of these dogs, I would do it in a heartbeat. Think of how much better owning one of these dogs would make you feel about yourself. You know, sometimes you look in the mirror and think "Hey, I'm fat" or "My hair is falling out" or "How did you ever get married?" or something like that, but having the world's ugliest dog for a pet would always give you a different perspective on attractiveness. To make yourself feel better, you could always look at the dog and say "At least I don't look as ugly as you."

Quickly

Have any of you tried out redbox yet (redbox.com)? They are little video machines inside of Albertson's (and possibly other supermarkets) where you swipe your credit card and get a movie...for $1.08. It's awesome. The selection is limited, but they are all new movies and for those of us who really never go to the theater anymore, it's a godsend. Each day that the movie is late, it will cost you another $1.08 until you hit $25 and then you keep the movie. What a great idea.

I wrote a couple weeks ago about the absence of hair metal bands. Well, I came across this article recently:

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1562329/20070612/taking_back_sunday.jhtml

The title of this article is "Is Emo-Punk Just Hair Metal's Second Coming?" Are you kidding me? Total blasphemy. That's like trying to argue that the Smashing Pumpkins are a better band than INXS (in the Michael Hutchence days). No way, broseph.

I watched the first half hour of "Team America: World Police" last weekend. I'm pretty sure that the theme song from the movie is the second funniest song I have ever heard, next to "Pool Party" by the Aquabats.

No thanks

There are probably thousands of Mormons around the US that are thrilled that Mitt Romney is running for president. I'm not one of them.

A buddy of mine at school has probably sent me over 200 articles on Mitt Romney, both positive and negative. What common theme is found in every article? Mitt's religion. I'm not one to be ashamed of what I believe in, but when I read articles written by people who argue that Mitt's religion will prevent him from every being president, I want to crawl under a rock and hide out until he either fails to get the nomination or is not elected president.

My buddy, aware of my feelings about a Mormon candidate, sent me an article today about other Mormons who are weary of their religion being discussed so much in the media. What's worse than reading these articles is reading the comments written by people responding to the article. It's incredible how angry someone can get about another person's religion. Here's a great example of some loser on Bill O'Reilly arguing that "A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for Satan." Incredible.



I love how Bill O'Reilly ends the interview. If you ever want to see a great BOR interview, check out the one he did with Dr. Laura and watch his face when she uses the term "sweaty embrace."

A popular topic among Mormon critics is polygamy. It's precisely this doctrine which makes me think that those early members of the church who practiced polygamy were men of God. Not to knock my wife (who I love very much), but one wife is plenty. To get me to take on another wife, it really would have to be a commandment from God and even then I would really have to think about it. I already suck bad enough as a husband to one wife, I don't need to suck as a husband to multiple wives. Plus, I don't need anyone else in the house telling me that I need to empty the kitchen garbage can.

Back to Mitt: I'm sure I'll end up voting for the guy if he gets the nomination (which I don't think will happen, or maybe I just don't want it to happen). I would just be happy if I could read an article about him without hearing anything about how his religion is the biggest obstacle he needs to overcome.

Moving on...

Did any of you catch the MTV movie awards? Neither did I, but I did read about this gem from Sarah Silverman:

“That movie 300? Turns out how they got that title was they measured how gay it was. On a scale of one to 10.”

When I read this, it was one of those times where I was reminded why I shouldn't be surfing the internet at work. It's hard to pretend like you are laughing at a trial notebook you are supposed to be working on.

I lamented the death of 80's hair metal in my last journal entry, but afterwards I remembered that there is one part of one song that reminds me of a great 80's hit. The song is "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance, and really the only part of the song that sounds like it should be played in an arena comes at the very end. I'm not a huge MCR fan, but their last album was pretty good. I can't ever watch any videos by these guys because the singer looks like Billy Corgan and there is no band that I dislike more than the Smashing Pumpkins.

The end.

Random Thoughts

I haven't really had time lately to do the kind of update that I would like, so here are a few random thoughts for a Sunday night.

1. Few things in this life are worth paying extra money for, but a good pair of comfortable tennis shoes are priceless. By far, Nike wins in this department. I tried spending $20 on a pair of Avias (or something like that) from Big 5, but they were totally uncomfortable and I ended up spending $60 on a pair of Nikes six months later.

2. Brie cheese is a gift from heaven. True brie cheese cannot be imported into this country from France (I think I read that the FDA, with respect to cheeses, requires that cheeses must be made from pasteurized milk and aged 60 days) because it is not made from pasteurized milk and is not aged very long in order to keep a soft texture. When you buy a brie in the supermarket, it will have French flags on it and look like it's nice and imported, but chances are it was made in the USA. That being said, it is still delicious and is worth the extra expense.

3. Kobe announced his demand for a trade this week (which he later recanted, then reaffirmed, then recanted, then reaffirmed, etc) while I was getting some documents recorded in a certain city in LA county. When I arrived back at the office and turned on my computer, I had an instant message from my wife with the story and a couple of my friends had emailed me the same article. Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about Laker basketball. When Shaq was run out of town, I vowed not to watch any more Laker games until Kobe was gone. I have seen a few minutes here and there, but basically I have been avoiding Laker games for the past three years (my favorite team to watch is the Bobcats). Although I don't see Kobe leaving the Lakers anything soon, contrary to what he is saying, the best deal I have heard so far would involve Kobe going to the Bobcats in exchange for Emeka Okafur and the number 8 pick in the draft. Right now Okafur is probably my favorite player to watch and I would gladly start watching Laker games again if he were on the team.

4. Pinkberry. This place is THE frozen yogurt place to the "stars," or something like that. One just opened up in Victoria Gardens and we decided to check it out. We walked in, and walked right back out. I'm not paying $5+ for mediocre frozen yogurt just so I can be "seen." They even had a sign that said "No Photography in Store." Heaven forbid someone might want to take a picture of your overpriced menu.

5. Why aren't there any hair metal bands out there? When it comes to 80's butt-rock bands, no doubt Poison was the greatest of them all. The makeup, the big hair, the tight leather pants, the huge stadium rock shows with pyrotechnics, cheesy lyrics and unnecessary, over-the-top guitar solos...I mean, isn't it about time this music was popular again? I know some of these bands still tour, and I would see them, but they are all fat now and basically just shells of their former selves. These were the guys who used to get drugged and boozed up, sleep with tons of people, and basically just destroy their livers before age 25. These were the guys I wanted to be like when I was in elementary school. Now we are subjected to the exploits of Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton. Whatever happened to the male rockstar? Where is the Axl Rose type? Kids need these role models.

6. Perhaps the greatest sentence ever to come out of anyone's mouth is "I could eat a knob at night." If you have no idea what I am talking about, check out the podcasts that Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington did. If you have no idea who any of the aforementioned men are, there is something seriously lacking in your life. Speaking of Stephen Merchant, I know Ricky Gervais gets all of the attention, but Stephen Merchant deserves more credit than he gets. Without his humor and writing ability, "The Office" would never have been what it was.

7. The funniest episode of the American "Office" will never be one-tenth as funny as the least funny episode of the British version. One day I will make my pilgramage to Slough, just so I can see that round-a-bout and the sign that says "Slough Trading Estate" from the opening credits. Anyone want to go with me?

The end.